Part 1
I am currently sititng at JFK air port, I can't help but think how my life took a drastic change a little over four months ago when I emailed about this job but I am so happy that I emailed and even happier that I followed through with it. I have never felt more in my life like I am exactly where I am meant to be. That does not mean Appelsboch but in Mercy Ships leading a slightly different life then I would have thought five months ago. These past few weeks which were extremely busy and full I found myself not counting down the days before I went home but needing more time cause it is starting to feel like home. I am so thankful that it has happened where I miss people and the community that is also always there to complain about when we are sick of each other.
These past few weeks I have been able to spend more time with my fellow teachers from agreeing and then regretting to make cookies for out entire Appelsboch crew or helping with the Christmas play and acting like fools in the back. It has been extremely fun! When things get tough and people get stressed, which happens we pull together. Not to say there is still not tension but it is amazing to see a group of people come together with one common goal in mind.
But as I sit here going on my like fifth hour with another three till boarding I have nothing but time to think about how I got here. To this place in my life where I am comfortable doing what scares me, where I make a list of 100 things to do before I die, where I have 31 stamps in my passport. I don’t know how I got here really, I know it has to do with my family and my faith and I am sure countless other things that I can not think of but non the less I am grateful for. As I was flying from Johansburg to JFK and had lots of time to think (17 hours) I thought about the first time I flew internationally by myself. It was when I flew to London when I moved there in October. I remember trying not to cry saying good bye to mom and dad, and having to have Dennis talk me off the ledge of booking a ticket back home a week latter cause there was no way in hell I was ever going to be able to do it. I am so great full for those moments because they showed me that I can do it. Even with Mercy Ships there was a time where I emailed den to let him know I was going to possibly need a pep talk so to start preparing. As it turned out I did not need it but it was great to know it was there, practiced in case I did need it.
All I can draw from these moments are that it is what is freaking scary as hell that will impact us, it is the moments where you want nothing more then to say just kidding and go home. But when you don’t it will change your life in ways you could never have imagined. It makes me happy for the risks I have taken and caused me to think what my life would have been like had I taken others that I was not brave enough to face. What are you facing in your life that will impact you greatly? Or maybe more importantly what are you turning from that is keeping you from living your life even more; even more full of adventure, laughs, and love.
With all this said I can not wait to get home it is 12:40 west coast time as I am writing this and I will get home at 10:00 west coast time tonight. I am so excited and just wish the time would go faster or even better that I could use a port-key!
Part 2
I am actually home! I had two very busy days of travel and finally slept a little in a bed which was lovely. I have spent the day around running errands and having lunch with my family. It has been nice and already worth the time to travel home.
December, 14th 2010
ship
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
HOME...
Home…
There are so many things that come to mind when I think about home. I think of my parents and Padfoot, and my family and friends, I think of the beach. I think of all the things I want to do and the places I want to go. At this point I will be home in 13 days, I get in to Portland on Dec 13th at 10 pm. Which will be 8 am the 14th in my time so that will be fun. But man am I excited. When you are away from home you romanticize it. Everything is better at home then where ever you actually are, the people, the food, the weather everything. I am excited to get home I would be no matter what time of year it was but because it is Christmas time I am even more excited to go home. I have been playing Christmas music for about two weeks, we had a great Thanksgiving dinner and we are having advent service on Sundays. But it just does not feel like Christmas. Its hot outside, I don’t have Christmas movies, I am not baking cookies. Even in London when Christmas was getting close and I was not home, it felt like Christmas. It was cold; there where Christmas specials on, I baked with my flat mates it was nice. So needless to say I am having a hard time to geting in the Christmas spirit here and am desperately looking forward to being home. I am looking forward to landing at JFK and finding a Starbucks, getting a pumpkin spice latte in a Christmas cup. Even that makes me happy.
I have to stop myself from making lists of all the things I want to do and the places I want to eat at when I get home. If I started to do that these next 13 days would drag forever and I would not be able to focus on what is happening here and there is a lot. We still have a field trip a sports day and then an entire week of Christmas play rehearsal, baking cookies for our whole crew of 150. We also have to pack up the entire academy for the move back to the ship. There is so much going on yet the time is going kinda slow. And man I want it to flash by! There is so much to do at home. I keep reminding my self that I will be home for almost a month but that too will fly by. I keep having to tell myself to appreciate this day, that I will never get it back and that as I am getting older, (my 25th birthday will be when I am home, when the hell did that happen?) that I have to make each day count. That is so much easier to say then do sometimes when all I want is to be home already, but I have to live in the present and live these next 13 days out and love them cause they are only coming once.
I know that when I get home I will feel rushed I will want to shop and cook and bake and see people and that it is easy to get over whelmed and lose track of the holidays and the reasons we celebrate. I just pray that as we celebrate the holidays we keep in mind the important things that we understand why we celebrate and that we keep those we love close to us and cherish the moments how ever fleeting they may be. With that I guess I should go live in the present and enjoy these last few weeks in the bosch.
December, 1st 2010
There are so many things that come to mind when I think about home. I think of my parents and Padfoot, and my family and friends, I think of the beach. I think of all the things I want to do and the places I want to go. At this point I will be home in 13 days, I get in to Portland on Dec 13th at 10 pm. Which will be 8 am the 14th in my time so that will be fun. But man am I excited. When you are away from home you romanticize it. Everything is better at home then where ever you actually are, the people, the food, the weather everything. I am excited to get home I would be no matter what time of year it was but because it is Christmas time I am even more excited to go home. I have been playing Christmas music for about two weeks, we had a great Thanksgiving dinner and we are having advent service on Sundays. But it just does not feel like Christmas. Its hot outside, I don’t have Christmas movies, I am not baking cookies. Even in London when Christmas was getting close and I was not home, it felt like Christmas. It was cold; there where Christmas specials on, I baked with my flat mates it was nice. So needless to say I am having a hard time to geting in the Christmas spirit here and am desperately looking forward to being home. I am looking forward to landing at JFK and finding a Starbucks, getting a pumpkin spice latte in a Christmas cup. Even that makes me happy.
I have to stop myself from making lists of all the things I want to do and the places I want to eat at when I get home. If I started to do that these next 13 days would drag forever and I would not be able to focus on what is happening here and there is a lot. We still have a field trip a sports day and then an entire week of Christmas play rehearsal, baking cookies for our whole crew of 150. We also have to pack up the entire academy for the move back to the ship. There is so much going on yet the time is going kinda slow. And man I want it to flash by! There is so much to do at home. I keep reminding my self that I will be home for almost a month but that too will fly by. I keep having to tell myself to appreciate this day, that I will never get it back and that as I am getting older, (my 25th birthday will be when I am home, when the hell did that happen?) that I have to make each day count. That is so much easier to say then do sometimes when all I want is to be home already, but I have to live in the present and live these next 13 days out and love them cause they are only coming once.
I know that when I get home I will feel rushed I will want to shop and cook and bake and see people and that it is easy to get over whelmed and lose track of the holidays and the reasons we celebrate. I just pray that as we celebrate the holidays we keep in mind the important things that we understand why we celebrate and that we keep those we love close to us and cherish the moments how ever fleeting they may be. With that I guess I should go live in the present and enjoy these last few weeks in the bosch.
December, 1st 2010
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