Heartache
This Monday was a bad day, we planned to go and help people and reach those who have been forgotten. I know we helped some and reached others but it is becoming overshadowed with the negative and its hard to keep focused on the good. Let me start from the beginning.
We have been in Freetown almost two weeks already, but it feels longer. We got in on Sunday the 27th of February it was a long day of waiting for new crew to get on board but not for us to get off. We were finally able to get off that night to walk along the dock. We all piled off and just walked back and forth happy to be on solid ground again. Monday the week started as normal as they ever do here, which completely depends on the day. We had two new students start the academy, their family had just done the training course in TX, and will now be on board for two years. One is in second grade the other in fourth, so for those of you keeping track, I now have two students. CRAZY. The week progressed fine in school and out. I went for a walk with a few friends into town and it was eye opening.
We all have been slightly consumed with screening that was to take place on March 7th. In the hospital I can only imagine the time it was consuming for so many people. Surgical screenings are massive days when we possibly get 5-10 thousand people who come to see if they can be helped. There have already been four screenings up north to schedule for surgery but Monday was to be the only one in Freetown. On Screening days the ship is on a very skeletal crew and every one else goes and helps with screening. All of us teachers were even given the day to go and be involved. I was assigned to children’s ministry with two other teachers and the 17 kids that make up our middle and high school classes. Everyone was so excited to be a part of screening and a chance to interact with the people of Sierra Leone. We had a meting about our jobs the night before. There we where told about what to accept, a long hot day that would probably be emotionally draining from seeing so much need and not being able to help all that come to us for aid. At the meeting we where also told to make sure to look people in the eye, that if they have a facial tumor you look them in the eyes. If they have one eye obstructed you look them in their good eye. It was a little scary thinking about how I would do because I have never had any experience dealing with anything like this but I was excited. After the large meeting we meet with our specific groups, we where told what to not do and what to try and do with the kids. Just to encourage them with a smile and to ask them so blow bubbles and color, activities that we all take for granted as child activities but that many here do not have opportunity for.
Our group left at 7:30 which I was fine with, security for instance left at 4:00. We rode in poda-poda’s they are like 16 passenger vans but with mettle benches. As we drove through the town to the national stadium I was struck by the great need and poverty around me. I have never seen people live in conditions that I witnessed that day. Trash everywhere, dogs everywhere and people everywhere. I saw little girls hiding behind a car looking out into the road to see when cars where passing and when it would be safe to cross. I also saw things that lightened my heart, fathers walking their children to school in their little green uniforms. Smiles and waves from people who are happy to see us as we drove through the city. Women sweeping the street in front of their homes to try and make it cleaner.
When we got to the stadium we were taken in the back entrance and dropped off at the children’s table. We took a few minutes to settle in to the area and unpack the boxes that we had to see what all we had to try and brighten these little ones days. We had been asked not to let the kids walk alone even with in the stadium so it started by taking head counts and making jokes about exit buddies. I took a group of three girls to the front of the stadium to see how long the line was and to see how the set up was and if we had any patients in yet to be looked at. The stadium is set up like an oval, we where on the outside of the stadium but with in the fence. For people to get in there was a main gate where it looked like a sea of people. Once people have been let in the first gate they line up in a large U and are let in to the main stadium by a door that is right by the first gate. When the girls and I were watching we could see the crowds trying to open the first gate to get into the waiting area of the second line. At one point when we were watching we saw the gate get pushed open and people went and joined the line that formed a U. I could see mercy Ships security and local enforcement working to try and keep the main gate shut and to keep people calm, unfortunately it did not work. We saw people being pushed over and walked over. Luckily we also saw them get helped up and walk back to the line with a little assistance. The girls and I walked back to our station; I did not really feel that this was something they needed to be seeing. As we walked back one of the girls asked why are they behaving that way. How do you explain to a little girl who trusts that things and people are mostly good that when someone is scared and at a loss for what else to do, they behave in a way that is alarming. I tried to explain that for many people here we are there only chance. That they do not have the money to go to the doctor or the opportunity to even if they had the money. As we walked back we all just agreed that it would be something to keep praying about through out the day.
When we got back to our station we were told by someone else that the gate has been like this all morning and that security has been having a tough go and to keep praying for the situation. We did that, we would get together and pray and pounce on any child or baby or young adult that we saw. We would make sure they had a balloon, and their nails painted if they wanted and the chance to blow bubbles. The process as the gate and the initial screenings where slowing things down for a bit in the morning and we did not have loads to do. Through out the morning we would continue to hear that things where not getting better and to keep praying. We had kids sent to help with different stations, we hade students escorting patients from one station to the next as well as passing out water and bread to people waiting. Since there where not lots of kids at the time they took the chance to look around screening and to be involved in other ways.
This is kind of where everything gets a little hazy and out of order and now mixed in with other people’s stories and is hard to tell what I was a part of and what I was not now because we have talked about it so much. I will try to stick with what I experienced and fill in gaps with first hand accounts from there. At one point I saw friends running to the gate, to be honest I did not think much of it. I knew people had been fainting and figured that is what had happened. We continued to do what we where doing. We where told that the kids needed to stop being escorts because the situation at the gate was not somewhere they should be. We where also asked to keep all the kids together in case we needed to leave. We always know that it is a possibility that we might have to leave in these situations, and that we would be the first to leave. Parents cant do what they need to do if they are worried about their kids. It was at that point that we knew things where definitely not going to plan. Sadly this was also the first time the kids where all involved and had other kids to interact with. I was blissfully unaware of what was happening just 100 yards away around a slight bend that caused it all to be out of eyesight. At this point I was coloring and talking with two boys. They are brothers Samuel is 17 and Ezekiel is 6 they came with out parents or have none I am not sure. They had been standing in line since the night before at 10. The came for Ezekiel to be seen by the doctors, I could not tell what the issues were and did not ask. We just sat and colored together and it was really nice. There was a few times where I remember crew member’s running back towards us asking that all medical personal go to the gate. Still no idea of what friends where doing and witnessing so close to us, we were still completely unaware of the seriousness of the situation During this time the kids where walking through the crowds handing out water, painting nails for the girls and women waiting and finally having a chance to interact with the people of Freetown. Around this time I was told that we would possibly be going back to the ship. We were not really sure why but knew that it was not our decision and that we had to go if we where asked. Around this time we were told to go get our bags from up stairs and get ready cause we were going to be leaving soon. As I was walking up stairs I ran across a friend, I asked her how it was going she said it was crazy and someone had died. I was shocked I did not really know how to respond. I knew that she had been involved because she is a medical person and just told her I was sorry and gave her a hug. Only latter in the day did I find out that she was in fact one of a few who tried their hardest to save the man who passed. We took the kids up stairs, as we where walking up the stairs one of the high school girls said she could not believe that someone had died. I asked that she not spread that to the other students until we really know what happened.
We were all ready to go and waiting for busses when one of the security members came and said that the academy was leaving now to hop in the first land rovers or busses if they were back and to call her as soon as all the kids where safe back on board and let her know. Only then did many kids know anything was as bad as it was. We all crammed into vans and headed back home. The van I was in had three other teachers, three students and two non crucial personal from screening. We all started to compare stories of what we had heard and seen, but in hushed voices not wanting the students in the front to hear. Our journey which took about 25- 30 minuets in the morning took a good hour and 20 minuets because of traffic. We were worried that we would have to drive by the main gates where the crowds where and how they would react, luckily w did not and left fine. We got back to the ship where the principle was waiting to meet us and let us know what to do. We had missed lunch because of the bus ride but the dinning room was staying open for crew coming back. We all went and ate lunch and started to try and make sense of the day. We went back to the academy and spoke with the principle so she new what we new and visa versa. During our drive back they had made a whole ship announcement that a non crew member had died at screening. Some people coming back from screening had not even known yet. The teachers who where back, the principle and all the kids who had gone to screening went to talk about what happened and how we were feeling. I was pleased to know that the students where successfully shielded from the scene at the stadium and that they where all doing ok. The largest concern was for parents who still remained on site to help. The students then went to watch a film, we all new better then to try to teach on that day, and none of us where in any state to be teaching. A few of us stayed to tell our principle what had happened and what we had seen and been apart of. I quickly realized that I was lucky that with what I had seen. I heard other teachers speak about how they where at the prayer station. That is if someone is told we are not able to operate they are asked if they would like to receive prayer. She said it was a long day of lots of no’s and lots of people crying. Another teacher said that she was inside escorting people and had no idea anything out of the normal had happened. Lastly a fellow teacher shared how she had seen people getting pulled from the bottom of a pile who needed to be revived. Watching people climbing the fence and storming the gate to be seen. She saw friends and crew members being asked to perform medical treatment that they do not normally do as a ward nurse, as opposed to an ICU or ER nurse. It was devastating to hear her tell what she had seen. We all where just a little shell shocked and agreed we did not want to be alone. We all agreed to go and shower and then meet up to watch how I meet your mother, thinking that we should try and laugh and not cry anymore. We meet together assembled salty and chocolaty snacks and began to try and think but not think at the same time about what happened.
About an hour after we left screening was shut down and all crew members where sent back to the ship or a separate safe location until cars could get to them. I do not know all that happened on that day and don’t really want to. I know people where scared and tried to get in with all that they could. I know that children and babys where passed under, over and through fences because it was not safe out in the mob. That crew members saved lives that day by doing what they did which was above anything anyone could ever ask for.
I am a lucky one, I had friends in the mob who had to pull people out from underneath others, and who preformed cpr on people, and drove people to hospital, and they are not crowd control, or a nurse or an ambulance driver. But they did what was needed and for that we are all so thankful. Everyone did more then we planned and for that crew is safe but broken mentally and emotionally.
We are thinking and reflecting and praying doing what we can. Monday night a group of us girls ended up in the crew galley baking cause we needed backed goods and we thought others might also. If it helped even for just a second, then that is fantastic. There have been lots of meetings about what has happened and there has been opportunity to talk about how we are feeling. People have been trying to figure out what has changed here since the last screening about 5 years ago. One thing that people kept coming back to was this; the people here 75% of whom are under 25 are a generation of child soldiers. I don’t want to say that it is that simple or put blame on people who have had to deal with much more then they ever should have but they are lacking love in their lives. We saw that on Monday, we saw that a select group of people could incite fear and unease into a group of people who where there for hope and to be healed. There are certainly many things that caused Monday, people sold places in line. When that was discovered those people where escorted to the end of line. Mercy ships does not take money for aid and provides free medical care, but people paid for a place in line cause they thought it would help.
My heart is broken and is slowly healing to see so much need to know that we have come to help as much as we can and then have a disaster like Monday it hurts. To think that a man lost his life when he came to seek aid to extend it hurts. To know that there are people who have spent all their money to come to free town to get seen to be cared for and we had to shut down screening and they where not seen. To know that we have not reached them and they are out in Freetown somewhere hurts. To know that people are capable to do that to one another with little or no disregard hurts. To see friends cry because the man they tried to save with all that they had, did not live hurts. To feel the strange quite we all have right now hurts. To see friends affected so heavily by the events hurts. To know that there are people who need love and we have come to give it but now have been sent away maybe hurts the most. That is the mission of Mercy Ships and everyone aboard this ship; to bring hope and healing. In everyone’s small way we allow that to happen but now it has been taken from us it feels. We are unsure how to fill the surgical schedule but are trying. Eye and dental teams have started up with out any fuss and are seeing and helping people and that is great.
Sierra Lieone is 168 in the human development index out of 179 recognized countries. I can only imagine the need in the 179th. I just cant help but think what is being done to help people. Why is there no media coverage here. Why do we pay athletes obscene amounts of money to play a damn game but people are starving to death or dying from preventative diseases. Why? What is wrong with us as a global community, as humans looking out for our fellow man? Am I just meant to feel happy and lucky that I was born white and an American? Is there no chance for people born into poverty? Is it not our job to help them? I think that is what keeps making me mad the thought that nothing is being done. This country has NGO’s and it had aid after the war but than we move on to the next tragedy and forget the humans who are left to pick up the pieces. There has to be more we can do but what is it? If you figure it out let me know cause I want to help.
March, 11th 2011
